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| Sunday, July 24, 2005 |
| Ogre Mommy |
You try to do what is best for your kids...Cut the apron strings a little and you end up feeling like shit.
My girls are headed west with my folks. They are meeting us in Phoenix for my graduation and then heading up to the Bad Lands, Mt. Rushmore, and several other interesting sites. Mandy wasn't all that keen on going but I encouraged her. She is a big home body and to tell you the truth, doesn't like being very far from me. They left yesterday morning and she has called me 5 times. The last call last night she is asking if she can fly home with me after Phoenix.
I was encouraging her last night, but if she calls me in another mood today I think I am going to have to yell a bit to snap her out of this funk. I know it won't last, but I have visions of this kid never leaving home. I want to travel some when the kids get older. I have this terrible fantasy of her following us.
It's not like this is something new, brought on my teenage hormones, it's been like this for years. I am trying to push her out of the nest a little, in controlled situations (she is an introvert like me so I know how painful it can be) but this is getting to be nuts.
With this my mother (an extrovert) doesn't really understand this and is being rather pissy about it with me and possibly Mandy. Which doesn't help Mandy get anymore comfortable with the situation. So then I feel guilty about Mandy having to deal with her as well and Mom I get a nice dollop of Catholic guilt (I was baptized Catholic, obviously it was enough to catch the guilt on somethings) that she is not enjoying the trip because of Mandy.
To top it all off, I don't know if I can get her on the flight with me home. It's about $244. The only way I might be able to manage it is to change my flight to an earlier one. This sucks all the way around. |
posted by Raven @ 1:04 PM  |
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| 2 Comments: |
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Hmmm... The Conundrum of Modern Parents. We don't want to cause our children pain, especially on purpose. BUT, we're also all to aware that Life is CHOC FULL o' hurtful situations and they'd better get used to it NOW so they don't get bit in the ass in a few years.
I dunno where the balance is: ya' wanna give your kids opportunities that you never had, and if those opportunities don't work out, you don't want them to be traumatized over it. On the other hand, you wanna say "get over yourself!" and "oh, grow up a lil' bit!" It's contradictory.
I think you're right, though: one of the biggest goals parents have for their children is eventual independence: you'll always love your children, but you don't WANT them LIVING WITH YOU when they're in their late 20's. As a culture we partially define "success" with being able to problem solve and fly solo (AND also be able to put up with uncomfortable situations without breaking down and pouting for days at a stretch).
So, I thunk yer doin' the right thing, and I think that if you haven't already, you might have to bite her on the butt a few times to get her out of the den. Give in on the little things now and then, but try to stay steady on the Big Things (like a $300 investment to change plane tix).
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My step-sister is the same way. I was able to get her to come visit me for an entire month. She ended up having a blast, but it was hell getting her here.
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Hmmm... The Conundrum of Modern Parents. We don't want to cause our children pain, especially on purpose. BUT, we're also all to aware that Life is CHOC FULL o' hurtful situations and they'd better get used to it NOW so they don't get bit in the ass in a few years.
I dunno where the balance is: ya' wanna give your kids opportunities that you never had, and if those opportunities don't work out, you don't want them to be traumatized over it. On the other hand, you wanna say "get over yourself!" and "oh, grow up a lil' bit!" It's contradictory.
I think you're right, though: one of the biggest goals parents have for their children is eventual independence: you'll always love your children, but you don't WANT them LIVING WITH YOU when they're in their late 20's. As a culture we partially define "success" with being able to problem solve and fly solo (AND also be able to put up with uncomfortable situations without breaking down and pouting for days at a stretch).
So, I thunk yer doin' the right thing, and I think that if you haven't already, you might have to bite her on the butt a few times to get her out of the den. Give in on the little things now and then, but try to stay steady on the Big Things (like a $300 investment to change plane tix).