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| Thursday, April 27, 2006 |
| Becoming Numb |
I've been depressed before. Done the whole round of medication, worked my way back to a "normal" life. When I was in depression life was happening in a mist that I fought. Things would happen and I could not respond in what would be considered a normal manner because of the mist.
If you read this post you will know that things have not been going my way lately. Not that I have a charmed life or anything, but there has been a really bad run these last few weeks. Last Sunday Hubby went back to Albany after spending most of the week with his mother to help her out with his father being in the hospital again. Not 20 minutes after he got there his mother called, his Dad had passed away. The cancer was just too much for his heart and it gave out. Hubby was a devastated. He drove home the next day and we drove up for the viewing and funeral.
I've hit a point that I keep getting hit with these emotional punches and I'm not even feeling them anymore. Just too many too fast. It reminds me of when I was in my depression, not the same but still a numbness that I know just isn't right. It bothers me because I want to mourn my FIL but I'm so tired and numb I just can't right now.
As a side note on top of all of this. I left work early on Monday to get things organized to leave the next day. I have a proclivity for grinding my teeth in my sleep when I'm stressed. My mouth was killing me, I thought it was from the grinding. I get home and Rick wakes up from the nap he was taking (driving 20 hours in the last 30 will do that to you) he takes one look at me and sends me to the dentist, who sends me to another dentist, who sends me to yet another dentist. At the end of all this I end up having to get one of my back molars pulled. Fun stuff. The only upside was the nice nitrous oxide they give you. |
posted by Raven @ 10:18 PM  |
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| 5 Comments: |
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I wonder if there are just too many things happening in your life, Rav? I don't think one is supposed to be numb to feeling, even the negative stuff. I think that we are placed here in these lives in order to feel everything that happens, experience what it is like to go through this crap so that we grow stronger. But in your case, I wonder if you'll have to continue to go through these bad things over and over again until you DO feel them?
Maybe you should slow life down a bit? Cut back on some of the activities you have to do everyday? Maybe that will make it better.
Take care, though. I hope you find a balance!
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well, if I needed any proof that something horrible is going through the human collective unconscious, then I've got it now. I don't know why bad luck seems to come down like monsoon storms, but I'm hoping that since you're getting a whole month's worth o' SHIT piled on you all at ONCE, then May should be fine n' dandy...
I dunno, this might be something that even Red's daily updates to his blog may not cure, as hee-larious as they is. HEY, RED! Y'all need to drive that Easter Egg on over, pick up Raven and y'all need to HEAD SOUTH FOR A GOOD SUMMER VACATION! I'm dead serious! We'll put y'all up and take y'all to the beach and out for real Surth'n barbie-Q!!
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Orange - What kinda beer you drink? Raven?
One of these days, I might just take you up on that offer, you know!
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I don't drink that much beer. But when I do anything but Corona (which smells like cat piss in my opinion) is fine.
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I'm a BIG fan of anything that's too dark to see through: Guinness, Schmaltz Alt, Xingu, Triple-Black Stout, Michaleson's XXXX Stout, etc.
Corona USED to be a good brew, but this time around, I don't like it as much. Shame I bought a 12 pack of it an' no one's helped me drink it.
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I wonder if there are just too many things happening in your life, Rav? I don't think one is supposed to be numb to feeling, even the negative stuff. I think that we are placed here in these lives in order to feel everything that happens, experience what it is like to go through this crap so that we grow stronger. But in your case, I wonder if you'll have to continue to go through these bad things over and over again until you DO feel them?
Maybe you should slow life down a bit? Cut back on some of the activities you have to do everyday? Maybe that will make it better.
Take care, though. I hope you find a balance!